How I keep it up: A week in the life of a hungover runner

Screw the "winter arc", let's just muddle through the festive season together

A quick audio welcome (“quick” = “took 20 attempts to record”)

Oh hello! Last week’s post, on Things That Give Me The Ick, brought quite a few new eyes my way. In fact, as a result I am tantalisingly close to hitting a big free subscriber milestone and a much smaller paid subscriber one, so feel free to make my festive dreams come true and tell everyone you’ve ever met that they should sign up to Keep It Up Fatty! immediately.

This week’s post, as we stumble into December reeking of mulled wine and wearing someone else’s pants (more on this later), is about how I actually keep it up: my running and fitness routine, that is (subtle erection joke back there if you like that sort of thing).

You might have spotted that there’s a lot of absolute shite on social media at the moment about your “winter arc”. Basically someone on TikTok decided that it’s a great time of year to set “wellness intentions” (yes, WELLNESS INTENTIONS, Jesus Christ) because… well, I don’t know actually, I can’t be bothered to engage. Plus, they are wrong. It’s a terrible time of year to intend to do anything, the best we can do is muddle along and hope for the best.

Thursday’s perfect running weather, as demonstrated by my new phone and its obnoxious wide-angle selfie abilities (I know you’ve had this function since 2019)

So, instead of indulging in any pointless seasonal goal-setting, I thought I’d talk about how I, just about, by the skin of my teeth, manage to keep up my exercise routine at this challenging time of year, while also drinking too much and eating huge vats of sugar. But, you might ask, is there really any point in keeping it up? Yes, because I’d be drinking too much and eating huge vats of sugar either way, but the exercise helps clear my head and feel less sluggish amid all the festive overwhelm.

But! There’s a catch! If you want to know how fast I ran, what I ate, how much work I actually got done and who wore my pants, you’ll need to be a paid subscriber. You only have until tomorrow (December 5th) to take advantage of my special offer to get 50% off annual membership: that’s just £35 to make me stop nagging you for a WHOLE YEAR, and I’ve got big plans for 2025 involving audio, expert guests and, like, more excellent stuff (*vague face*).