I read your Substack yesterday, and since then I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, thank you for your honesty, admitting to disordered eating and jumping on the rollercoaster that is the diet culture often feels shameful, darkly hidden behind the closed doors of community halls with secret weigh ins, public humiliation feels, well less public in there. So much of what you've written resonates, the timeline of my pregnancies when I ate for 4 and mainly lay on the sofa watching Neighbours, the subsequent lying about how old my babies were because I was still (how dare I?) carrying the "baby" weight, (but Verity you’re daughters are now 3 & 4 years old!) and my own experience of disordered eating, living off a1000 calories a day, starving hungry but also being thrilled that my waist was 28", all of this was before I started exercising…
Thank you so much for this. I started disordered eating at 13 and now I'm 60. The only thing that has worked (not perfectly) are the meds I've been taking for 2 years now. I see it as a medication I will take for the long term. I have gone from very obese to overweight. Even without weight loss the meds significantly ameliorate cvd risk. No meds are without risk but the risks outweigh the impact of of being very obese on my health and mobility. It is also confusing because women have been so damaged by diet culture and the beauty industry and one feels one is buying into that pernicious ideology.
That's brilliant, sounds like a huge journey. Unfortunately I think stories like yours are currently being drowned out by a lot of hysteria around the meds, and celebrities/influencers and now tons of normal women taking them without a medical need. There's definitely also a grey area with people who are a *bit* overweight - hard to call where the benefits outweigh the risks and it mostly feels like it should be a doctor's call to make and not an anonymous online clinic who are in it for the money.
Firstly, happy birthday! You look fabulous, as does that meal, I hope it's a great year for you.
Secondly, thanks for this article, lots to think about. The weight loss tablets sound... interesting, kind of like what speed was doing for a lot of people in the 90s!
Food at home- that's really made me think about how I feel about it. I eat way too much sugar, but whether it's in the house or not isn't the issue. I'm kind of like one of those people who never wears their best clothes but with food- I'll 'treat myself' and buy the good stuff, what I want, but then ration it out too much, and instead eat 2 Aldi fake KitKat's. Like I don't deserve the actual chocolate bar that I really want. An Easter egg can stay unopened for months, then I'll eat it all at once when it's about to go off. Never realised that before, I'll have a think about why that is.
Ozempic- it's weird how this annoys me. I think it's the lying around it. Watching creators in Instagram who have gone on for years about weight acceptance, being happy in their skin, and then are clearly on it and losing but refusing to talk about it. It makes me irrationally angry when it's nothing to do with me- but maybe it is,when these people have been selling me a lifestyle for years, but now make me feel like it's a lie? I absolutely don't feel the same way about people who are open about what they're doing, and am watching with interest.
Long winded thoughts there, that are probably not relevant, sorry!
Thank you! Never apologise for long-winded thoughts... especially when I just managed 4500 words of long-winded thoughts on this topic! Interesting how you ration the good stuff, I think so many of us were brought up with "treat" culture that it's hard to shake.
Great article. I am not ‘overweight’ but have been dieting (by which I mean obsessing about food and feeling guilty about half of what I eat) my entire adult life. Regardless of my weight I have ‘lose half a stone’ as my New Year’s resolution every sodding year. I’m 47 and it’s SO BORING. Hate the amount of time I have wasted on this - and hate myself for still caring.
Thank you! Ha, I feel annoyed with my boringness with it too but I'm trying to not think of it as time totally wasted, because even though some of my diets were all-consuming, I still made sure I did other stuff too, whether it was dating, reading good books, enjoying music, doing fulfilling work etc. I just happened to be obsessing over nutritional information at the same time. I guess I am similarly boring about running now but at least it feels productive.
Thanks for your honesty. And Happy Birthday week / what a dress 💥💥💥
I’d love to turn off the food noise - salted butter on toast / crackers and breadsticks, chocolate, sweets are the main things for me especially if I’ve had a trying / stressful / hard day. I’ve seen a few posts about the five chocolate bar idea where you keep extra of the food in the house. But dunno if that would work for me….
Interesting, I’ve not heard of this before but just googled it. I think I’d probably just scoff it all but I suppose it’s a gradual process to not do that…
Loved this piece. Have done both WW and SW over the years, only ever got heavier than I was at the start once I came off them. The lack of being able to have things in the house spoke to me a bit too loudly... I've got a long term back and neck injury which have stymied a lot of my trying to do gym stuff stints but am hoping getting a physio led PT in the next few months might break through that!
I also hate how it feels like everyone’s saying “told you so” if you gain weight after dieting, even if it’s years later! It’s so tough. Good luck with your PT and injury.
Similar to you (and it took me years to figure this out), I just can't keep snacks in the house, so your comment of 'Total restriction feels easier than moderation', rings very true for me. That's not to say that I don't ever have snacky stuff - I bought a huge bag of pretzels yesterday just cos and have already eaten most of them. My husband is far more disciplined with snacking and alcohol in particular, but he said something similar a few years ago that if the stuff was easily available to him, then he would just eat or drink it all there and then.
Even when I don’t have the really good stuff at home I’ve been known to get creative, for instance melting some Nutella and dipping breadsticks in it. Grownup choc dip!
Excellent piece: says it all. I’m going back to parkrun tomorrow after 5 months off (twisted ankle followed by bruised knee) and really Hope if I can build up running it will help. Don’t want to try Ozempic — I hate being constipated.
I read your Substack yesterday, and since then I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, thank you for your honesty, admitting to disordered eating and jumping on the rollercoaster that is the diet culture often feels shameful, darkly hidden behind the closed doors of community halls with secret weigh ins, public humiliation feels, well less public in there. So much of what you've written resonates, the timeline of my pregnancies when I ate for 4 and mainly lay on the sofa watching Neighbours, the subsequent lying about how old my babies were because I was still (how dare I?) carrying the "baby" weight, (but Verity you’re daughters are now 3 & 4 years old!) and my own experience of disordered eating, living off a1000 calories a day, starving hungry but also being thrilled that my waist was 28", all of this was before I started exercising…
Thank you for this ❣️
Thank you so much for this. I started disordered eating at 13 and now I'm 60. The only thing that has worked (not perfectly) are the meds I've been taking for 2 years now. I see it as a medication I will take for the long term. I have gone from very obese to overweight. Even without weight loss the meds significantly ameliorate cvd risk. No meds are without risk but the risks outweigh the impact of of being very obese on my health and mobility. It is also confusing because women have been so damaged by diet culture and the beauty industry and one feels one is buying into that pernicious ideology.
That's brilliant, sounds like a huge journey. Unfortunately I think stories like yours are currently being drowned out by a lot of hysteria around the meds, and celebrities/influencers and now tons of normal women taking them without a medical need. There's definitely also a grey area with people who are a *bit* overweight - hard to call where the benefits outweigh the risks and it mostly feels like it should be a doctor's call to make and not an anonymous online clinic who are in it for the money.
Firstly, happy birthday! You look fabulous, as does that meal, I hope it's a great year for you.
Secondly, thanks for this article, lots to think about. The weight loss tablets sound... interesting, kind of like what speed was doing for a lot of people in the 90s!
Food at home- that's really made me think about how I feel about it. I eat way too much sugar, but whether it's in the house or not isn't the issue. I'm kind of like one of those people who never wears their best clothes but with food- I'll 'treat myself' and buy the good stuff, what I want, but then ration it out too much, and instead eat 2 Aldi fake KitKat's. Like I don't deserve the actual chocolate bar that I really want. An Easter egg can stay unopened for months, then I'll eat it all at once when it's about to go off. Never realised that before, I'll have a think about why that is.
Ozempic- it's weird how this annoys me. I think it's the lying around it. Watching creators in Instagram who have gone on for years about weight acceptance, being happy in their skin, and then are clearly on it and losing but refusing to talk about it. It makes me irrationally angry when it's nothing to do with me- but maybe it is,when these people have been selling me a lifestyle for years, but now make me feel like it's a lie? I absolutely don't feel the same way about people who are open about what they're doing, and am watching with interest.
Long winded thoughts there, that are probably not relevant, sorry!
Thank you! Never apologise for long-winded thoughts... especially when I just managed 4500 words of long-winded thoughts on this topic! Interesting how you ration the good stuff, I think so many of us were brought up with "treat" culture that it's hard to shake.
Great article. I am not ‘overweight’ but have been dieting (by which I mean obsessing about food and feeling guilty about half of what I eat) my entire adult life. Regardless of my weight I have ‘lose half a stone’ as my New Year’s resolution every sodding year. I’m 47 and it’s SO BORING. Hate the amount of time I have wasted on this - and hate myself for still caring.
Thank you! Ha, I feel annoyed with my boringness with it too but I'm trying to not think of it as time totally wasted, because even though some of my diets were all-consuming, I still made sure I did other stuff too, whether it was dating, reading good books, enjoying music, doing fulfilling work etc. I just happened to be obsessing over nutritional information at the same time. I guess I am similarly boring about running now but at least it feels productive.
Thanks for your honesty. And Happy Birthday week / what a dress 💥💥💥
I’d love to turn off the food noise - salted butter on toast / crackers and breadsticks, chocolate, sweets are the main things for me especially if I’ve had a trying / stressful / hard day. I’ve seen a few posts about the five chocolate bar idea where you keep extra of the food in the house. But dunno if that would work for me….
Interesting, I’ve not heard of this before but just googled it. I think I’d probably just scoff it all but I suppose it’s a gradual process to not do that…
Loved this piece. Have done both WW and SW over the years, only ever got heavier than I was at the start once I came off them. The lack of being able to have things in the house spoke to me a bit too loudly... I've got a long term back and neck injury which have stymied a lot of my trying to do gym stuff stints but am hoping getting a physio led PT in the next few months might break through that!
I also hate how it feels like everyone’s saying “told you so” if you gain weight after dieting, even if it’s years later! It’s so tough. Good luck with your PT and injury.
Fantastic piece.
Similar to you (and it took me years to figure this out), I just can't keep snacks in the house, so your comment of 'Total restriction feels easier than moderation', rings very true for me. That's not to say that I don't ever have snacky stuff - I bought a huge bag of pretzels yesterday just cos and have already eaten most of them. My husband is far more disciplined with snacking and alcohol in particular, but he said something similar a few years ago that if the stuff was easily available to him, then he would just eat or drink it all there and then.
Even when I don’t have the really good stuff at home I’ve been known to get creative, for instance melting some Nutella and dipping breadsticks in it. Grownup choc dip!
That sounds yummy!
Excellent piece: says it all. I’m going back to parkrun tomorrow after 5 months off (twisted ankle followed by bruised knee) and really Hope if I can build up running it will help. Don’t want to try Ozempic — I hate being constipated.
It was foggy which I’ve never experienced before! Walked most of the last 2k but I showed up
Ahh good luck. There’s been some lovely running weather this week, hoping it’s the same tomorrow…