What I do when I hate running

It's not all medals and endorphins and disgustingly smug selfies, you know

An excellent sprint finish photo by cousin Marcus, at Catford parkrun a few weeks back

Right this second, I’m feeling a bit crap about running. I’ve got the London Landmarks Half Marathon next Sunday, and I was really looking forward to it… like, six months ago, when I was offered a jammy press place.

Now, it’s looming, and I am not fit. I’m fit enough to run, but not fit enough for it to be at all fun, pleasant or rewarding. I’ve done this race before, and it was great: perfect weather, great vibes, stunning scenery and I got a big PB at the time. While the last one definitely won’t be happening this year, I’m trying to focus on the other three and tell myself: it won’t be that bad. There might even be good bits.

The thing is, I haven’t stopped running. Come rain or shine or snot or hangover, I am out there, at least two or three times a week, groaning and sweating. But a few things, like work and kids and stress and health, have made this training block quite difficult. I’ve been using the excellent Coopah app to structure my training and keep things interesting, but I keep tinkering with the schedule when life gets in the way. My longest training runs should have happened a couple of weeks ago, but instead I was coughing up green stuff. I kept doing parkrun (THE STATS, I CANNOT MESS WITH THE STATS) but that was probably a mistake, as the feeling-crapness lingered for more than two weeks, when normally I nip these things in the bud within a few days.

A couple of friends — fit modern women and not sickly Victorian children — have had actual pneumonia recently so I know all about how important it is to listen to your body and rest and stuff but also… I hate being ill. It’s boring, it makes me feel weak and the only thing I hate more than being ill is other people talking about being ill, which is highly intolerant of me and probably something I should work on, but in the meantime I’ll just… stop talking about being ill.

Instead, let’s talk about what I do when I hate running, in case it helps anyone else who is in a running funk. A runk? No. Needs work.

Beat myself up

First, yes, I must beat myself up. And now technology gaily joins in too. Strava has a throwback feature where it tells you what you were doing exercise-wise on this day in previous years, and while it’s not quite as obnoxious as Facebook Memories (why didn’t anyone tell me in 2007 that I was a binge-drinking, boy-addled disaster of a not-very-hot mess?), it sure likes to stick the knife in.

Because the problem is, this time last year I was deep in London Marathon training. 16 miles here! 20 miles there! Tower Bridge! The Cutty Sark! My big red forehead! And Strava keeps reminding me that I was running those long distances at paces I can barely manage for 5K right now.

Well, GOOD FOR YOU, spring 2024 Isabel

In reality, I know those runs were hard. I’d get stitches, feel sick from too many gels and generally long for them to be over. I ached. I was hungry. My social life took a hit. But I sure looked pretty smug about the whole thing.

Talk to people

I love talking. By talking, I mostly mean typing. I’ve been talking to my fellow running friends about my half-marathon woes and they’ve given me a boost. I’ve been talking to the school running community I’m in (more fun than it sounds), asking if I should try and squeeze in a long run this weekend, with a week to go, or just wing it from this point (still undecided: if

Laura Fountain

,

Verity Wright

or any of my other running coach subscribers are reading this, let me know what you think!). I’ve even been talking to ChatGPT. You say “needy”, I say “community and collaboration are EVERYTHING (even if sometimes it’s AI).”

All of this has helped normalise the fact that people often aren’t fully-trained for half-marathons, but if you run regularly, even if it’s not for long distances, you’ll almost certainly be fine. Whereas when I ran my first half, back in 2021, I stuck religiously to a strict training programme, once you’ve done a few — not to mention a whole marathon (as IF I would ever mention that I RAN A WHOLE MARATHON, right?) — they’re not that big a deal. But don’t you dare tell me that when I’m wailing with despair at mile 11 next Sunday.

Do something else

This weekend I finally felt fully recovered, so I went for a 10K run early on Monday morning, and it was fine — I could have carried on but I didn’t have time, so that’s officially my longest run this year. But on Tuesday and Wednesday I decided to go to my strength classes at my beloved Mindfit instead. I also missed those while I was ill, and I think (POSSIBLY NOT ACTUAL SCIENCE) strength is lost much faster than running fitness, so I was keen to get back to it.

I enjoyed the classes, shoved fairly conservative weights on the barbell, and got on fine. I felt good, and it was nice to chat to other people. One of the problems with running is that you spend a lot of time in your own head. When you’re feeling good and running is going well, this is one of the most brilliant things about it, but if running is making you feel all impostery, doing something else active that isn’t running, and that involves other people, can be just the thing — and probably means you’ll face your next run more positively.

Incentivise the run

I’ve banged on about this before, but when I’m struggling to find the motivation to run, making it less about the run and more about what I’m doing during the run can really help.

I’m terrible these days at reading actual books (because… phones) but I still like to feel bookish, so I tend to listen to audiobooks while running — my current jam (not sure the kids refer to audiobooks as “jams” - ed) is So Thrilled For You by Holly Bourne, which is an easy listen, but sharp and funny enough to hold my attention as I try to ignore the sound of my own lungs.

My friend Lucy also leaves me 29 minute voice notes a few times a week (if Lucy’s employers are reading this, she usually does this during her commute) and I love it if they fall on a day when I’m planning to run because I can fully savour her endearing but relentless nonsense while pounding the pavements. It’s like a podcast I can’t find the unsubscribe button for (AND NOR WOULD I WANT TO).

If I don’t have anything new and exciting to listen to, then it’s more about eyes on the prize: sometimes I’ll run somewhere scenic (Blythe Hill is the ultimate beauty spot near me, but man it’s painful getting up there) or, even more enticingly, plan to end it at a coffee shop and then think of nothing else for the last mile.

Book some stuff in

I have a fantasy about flying to Sicily one Friday night and doing the Etna parkrun. Right now I don’t even have the money for some Tesco Finest Sicilian Tomatoes, but the thought of adventures like this in my future keeps me engaged with running.

After London Landmarks, I don’t actually have any big running commitments but I will definitely make some, as this helps keep me focused-ish. Any good 10Ks later in spring/early summer I should know about? I’d like a seasidey one, perhaps. Not half marathons though, God no (I’ll probably do one in the autumn though because I’ll get FOMO. And then not train properly. And despair. And read this. And maybe write another version of it. Etc).

Write about it

Thank you, this has been cathartic. And I definitely can’t pull out now.